13> Driving your fellow Congressman into the turnbuckle now considered acceptable method of ending a filibuster.

12> President now shouts entire State of the Union address with his face 18 inches from TV camera.

11> IRS audit replaced by more efficient reverse body slam onto enema.

10> Government becomes a charade of meaningless noises and lots of posturing by a bunch of inarticulate losers with no class or manners– Hey, wait a minute…

9> Free school lunches destined for the needy instead go to the biggest, meanest, stupidest kid in each school.

8> Sex scandals now involve even skankier women.