An ARIEN will be one of the first to arrive at the mall on Black Friday and, after fighting tooth and nail for a parking space and damaging their car beyond repair, they will shove, kick, bite, scratch, and claw their way to the front of each outrageously long line. Although they may reemerge from the fray a bit worse for the wear, they will be carrying armfuls of shopping bags containing only the best deals…would you expect anything less?

 

A TAUREAN will sit down in front of his/her computer and complete all of their holiday shopping online in one sitting, as long the room temperature is adjusted exactly to their liking and they have a pint of Ben and Jerry’s at arm’s reach. However, they will most certainly stop for bathroom breaks if the need arises and will abandon their task as soon as their stomach indicates that it is time for dinner.

 

A GEMINI

 

Since their traumatic experience during a Black Friday mall excursion several years ago, a Cancer refuses to leave their home during the entire month of December.

 

A LEO does not believe it necessary to give presents to their friends…they already have him/her, what more could they possibly want?

 

A VIRGO will have all of their holiday shopping completed before Thanksgiving (or Halloween if they are really good), but they may continue to shop sporadically throughout the holiday season to secure last-minute details and take advantage of the great sales.

 

A LIBRA naturally loves the social aspect of the holidays, but she can never decide what to give her friends. Therefore, gift certificates abound…but what store should she buy them from?

 

A SCORPIO

 

Although they promised themselves throughout the year that they would limit the number of friends on their gift list as they struggled each month to get out of the debt inflicted by last year’s shopping spree, a SAGGITARIAN will inevitably succumb to the “spirit of the holidays” and spend every last penny on holiday cheer.

 

A CAPRICORN is too immersed in his/her individual financial plan to squander their hard-earned savings on frivolous gifts because of some arbitrary point in the earth’s revolution. However, if they deem it to be advantageous for the future of their career, they may splurge on a designer item for their boss–but only if they really want that promotion (they do).

 

An AQUARIAN believes that the so-called “holidays” are too Christianity based and refuses to participate in the festivities unless all major world religions merge together to create a Great Brotherhood of Universal Peace. He/she spends the entire month of December progressing for social and spiritual reform, and urges their friends to do the same.

 

A PISCES does not buy or receive any gifts because they believe themselves to be all alone in this world, detached from the rest of humanity because they are the only ones who could possibly understand the true nature of human suffering. They spend Christmas in the company of their finest vintage wine, reading poetry and contemplating the tenuous nature of life.