ARIES:  Just one. Wanna make something of it?

TAURUS: Well, I prefer natural light if at all possible. Are you absolutely positive that lightbulb is burned out? I hate to throw it away if it still might be useful.

GEMINI:  Probably one is best, because if there are more than one, they’ll get so wrapped up in talking to each other that they’ll forget all about the lightbulb.

CANCER: Only one, but three therapists will be needed to help with the grieving process. OR: Only one, as long as his mommy holds his hand.

LEO: Leos do not change their own lightbulbs. They find someone else to do it for them.

VIRGO: 1.11111119873, give or take .00000000000013%.

LIBRA:  Well, I could do it, unless of course you’d prefer to do it, but you look sort of busy right now. What do you want to do?

SCORPIO:  One, from across the room, if they’ve learned their teleporting lessons well enough.

OR, thanks to one of our website visitors:  None, because Scorpios aren’t afraid of the dark.

SAGITTARIUS:  The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got the rest of our lives ahead of us and you’re worrying about a stupid light bulb?

CAPRICORN:  I don’t have time for these foolish jokes.

AQUARIUS:   Well, you see, energy is really matter and matter is really energy and light is a form of energy but the light bulb is matter, and–

PISCES: What light bulb?