Hymie is an elderly yarn merchant who has the misfortune of living next

door to Fred, a well known anti-Semitic.

One day Fred calls on Hymie and says, “Hey Jew! I need a piece of orange silk.”  “OK, says Hymie, “how long?”

Fred looks at Hymie and replies, “The length must be from the tip of your nose to the tip of your penis and I want it delivered to me tomorrow latest.”

Hymie says, “OK.”

Fred is awakened early next morning by loud noises. He looks out his window and sees a row of lorries lined up outside his house, dumping lorry full after lorry full of orange silk into his front garden. Soon, the front of Fred’s house is 3 foot deep in orange silk. Then there is a knock on his door and when he opens it, there’s Hymie with an invoice for £8,000.

Fred starts screaming at Hymie. “What’s this, Jew? This is not what I asked for. I told you I wanted a piece of silk from the end of your nose to the tip of your penis.  Look at my front garden. What do you have to say for yourself?”

Hymie replies, “I’m very careful when I deal with people like you, that’s why I’ve got a few witnesses here with me now. I may be off by a few miles so I gave you a discount, but…the tip of my penis was left in Poland after my circumcision!”