A judge asks a defendant to please stand. “You are charged with murdering a garbage man with a chain saw.”

 

From the back of the courtroom a man shouts, “You lying bastard!”

 

“Silence in the court!” The judge turns to the defendant again and says, “You are also charged with killing a paperboy with a shovel.”

 

“You tightwad!” blurts the spectator.

 

“Quiet!” yelled the judge. “You are also charged with killing a mailman with an electric drill.”

 

“You cheap son of a… ” the spectator starts to shout.

 

The judge thunders back, ” I will hold you in contempt! What is the reason for your outbursts?”

 

“I’ve lived next to that lying bastard for 10 years now, but do you think he ever had a tool when I needed to borrow one?”